A Parallel Universe

I'm thirty-four, for your information.
This, in and of itself, is no big deal to me. I do not delude myself about aging, or getting older, or maturing, or whatever you want to call it. I realize full well, that, no matter what my oldest son says, I'm still very young in life. I'm over it, trust me.
But what does get to me about being thrity-four is how vastly different my life is now at this age, than what I had once envisioned for myself looking ahead to this age. I do not so much long for the life I had once idealized for myself, as it's just so... DIFFERENT from what I thought it would be. Robert Frost's poem about the road less travelled has been hitting me between the eyes the past few birthdays.
See, what was SUPPOSED to happen at the age of thirty-four was this: Two B.A.'s in music and music education under my hat, in addition to a master's degree from a conservatory as yet unnamed. I would have left my educational pursuits after my master's degree and failed on the professional circuit for a couple of years, but nonetheless gleaning valuable life-long experience and wisdom from the myriad of big cities, snooty orhcestras, and gruelling auditions I will have willingly walked myself into. THEN, I was going to take on teaching at a private studio or university. Believe it or not, I even had envisioned going from a university teaching position to directing a high school vocal program. Somewhere in my late twenties, I would meet Mr. Right and consdier getting married after the age of thirty. Somewhere around the age of thrity-five, we might possibly consider having a child. Maybe two. Depends. Before Kagen was born, I had no idea how I'd do around small children. Older kids, no problem. But younger ones??? Well...
Oh, how vastly different life has turned out! As in, laughably so! Again, with what I hope is a genuine acceptance and contentment of God's will in my life, and not a painful facade veiling a deep-seated quiet desperation, I do not long for what I once thought would be. Really. I have been placed where I am unmistakenly by the Author of Life, and so much of my life as it is NOW is so blessed with God's love and grace, how can I long for anything else? Different, but not inferior in anyway.
I spent my thirty-fourth birthday last Saturday, not thinking about maybe having a child and hashing out the pros, cons, whys and wherefores with my husband of a couple of years, but I DID spend it with my husband of 12.5 years, and our four children at a park, having a picnic, where we got messy, dirty, wind-swept and worn out with the fun.
God can be SO obvious sometimes, can't He?